Gilbert And Sullivan The Grand Duke (Or The Statutory Duel) Act I Song - Notary About a century since, The code of the duello To sudden death For want of breath Sent many a strapping fellow. The then presiding Prince (Who useless bloodshed hated), He passed an Act, Short and compact, Which may be briefly stated. Unlike the complicated laws A Parliamentary draftsman draws, It may be briefly stated. ALL: We know that complicated laws, Such as a legal draftsman draws, Cannot be briefly stated. NOT: By this ingenious law, If any two shall quarrel, They may not fight With falchions bright (Which seemed to him immoral); But each a card shall draw, And he who draws the lowest Shall (so 'twas said) Be thenceforth dead-- In fact, a legal "ghoest" (When exigence of rhyme compels, Orthography forgoes her spells, And "ghost" is written "ghoest"). ALL (aside): With what an emphasis he dwells Upon "orthography" and "spells"! That kind of fun's the lowest. NOT: When off the loser's popped (By pleasing legal fiction), And friend and foe Have wept their woe In counterfeit affliction, The winner must adopt The loser's poor relations-- Discharge his debts, Pay all his bets, And take his obligations. In short, to briefly sum the case, The winner takes the loser's place, With all its obligations. ALL: How neatly lawyers state a case! The winner takes the loser's place, With all its obligations! . |
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