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Long, white limousine pulls up to a church
The sick part of me wishes it was a hearse
I didn't get an invitation but I'm here anyway
And I don't care if I'm crashing their big day

Well, it might not be too Christian of me
And it might not be too nice
But I wish we were all just standing around
Throwing rocks instead of rice

Long, white dress
This must be some kind of joke
Virgin? Please! She ain't fooling these folks
If the three of us were on Jerry Springer
I'd be pulling her hair
And I'd kick that lying sack of shoulda known better
You know where

Well, it might not be too Christian of me
And it might not be too nice
But I wish we were all just standing around
Throwing rocks instead of rice

Well, the vows that they just made sound sweet and sincere
Place your bets, my money's on less than a year

Well, it might not be too Christian of me
And it might not be too nice
But I wish we were all just standing around
Throwing rocks instead of rice

Yeah, I wish we were all just standing around
Throwing rocks instead of rice
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