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Stephen Lynch Miscellaneous Super Hero If I could be a super hero I would be Awesome Man I'd fly around the world fighting crime according to my Awesome plan And if I saw criminals trying to lie Hurting other people and making them cry I'd haul them off to jail in my aw-some-van. 'Cause I would be Aw-some-man Now, kids, some criminals want you to be a criminal too and they offer you things like drugs and alcohol. Well we know what to do, kids. We just say "No". If I could be a super hero I would be Drug Free Boy Telling the world of the evils of drugs And all of the lives they destroy Well I'd take all the junki-ies getting so high With their needles and bongs and their sticks made of ti As I burn them alive I would squeel with joy 'Cause I would be drug free boy [Insert clever whistling part here] If I could be a super hero I'd be immagration dude I'd send all the foreigners back to their homes For eating up all of our food And taking our wellfare and best jobs to boot Like landscaping, dishwashing, picking our fruit I'd pass a lot of laws to get rid of their broot 'Cause Id be immagration dude Kids, you can make up your very own super hero. If you could... who would it be? If I could be a super hero Would you be Justice Guy? Making sure people get what they deserve Especialy women who lie Like if a wife left her husband with three kids and no job To run off to fuckin' Hawaii with some doctor named Bob You could skin them and drain them of blood so they'd die [Especialy bob] Then you would be Justice Guy Or you could be more suttle Mo, I didnt mean to be veig Give her the mad cow disease Let him die of the plague As long as they suffer for their terrible lie [Especialy bob] Then you would be Justice Guy Yes then you would be A Super Hero like me |
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